Well where does one start to tell another about their self… Talking about me is not easy for me, I do not like to talk about me… So here it goes please bare with me….
My name is Shirley, I am now 46 yrs old, single and have never been married…. My life as a child was not a real easy one, but then again there are other children who had it worse than me. I thank God everyday that I made it and that I went through what I did so I could be the person that I am today (which I pray is pleasing to God). My mother passed away from cancer when I was nine years old and I was raised from that point to 12 by my father. At 12 I went to stay with an Aunt and Uncle, then with some cousins and then back to my father. By the time I was 14 I lived with other relatives for 2 years. At the age of 16 I returned to my father’s house for a brief stay then pretty much went out into the world on my own. I have worked since I was 14, and it has become very hard for me to ask others for help since I never had that support after my mother passed away. In May of 2004 God granted me a prayer, he allowed me to have children; not of my own but children in need of love and a home til their parents got it together… I became a foster parent, over a 2 year period I had roughly over 20 children in and out of my home. My first foster child stole my heart and I would have adopted him in a New York second if things would have went that way. God had other plans though, I had that child for 1 year, 1 month and 3 days then he returned home to his birth mother. My children came to me after many others had come and gone from my home but never from my heart. My children are adopted, three of them; birth wise they have the same mother and 2 different fathers. However adopted is not the word that I like to use to speak of “My Children” with. They may not have been born to me in the natural way, but God planted them in my heart many years ago and it just took time for me to grow so they could be born from my heart… (hope that makes sense to y’all cause it does to me). They are my children regardless of how or when they came to me, and have been since the day they came into my home….
My oldest is considered special needs due to the fact that she is learning delayed, has ADHD, ODD and RAD, my middle is considered special needs due to the fact that she also has ADHD, ODD and RAD, and my youngest at this time has no difficulties except with a lazy eye that he was born with. As a single parent of three children and two with special needs, my strength, faith and dreams have all been put to the test. I have had people tell me I do not know how you do what you do, I do not know how you keep going and going, my answer to all of them over the past almost 6 years is by the Grace of GOD and with his help…. God has been the one that has been there from the second I laid eyes on my children and is still right here with me today. God has been the one to stand by me and pull me through the hardest of hardest places and things that has taken place over the past years. And I know that God will be with me (us) in the future as we face hard obstacles as well. God has shown me which way to go and when to go that way. I have had moments when I told myself that I just can’t do this any more, it is just too hard. Then I close my eyes and feel God’s hand on my shoulder and he reminds me that I am not alone, I think about what he has walked me through (us through) and I tell myself that God gave me my babies (knowing what it would take to raise them) and that if he trusted me enough to give them to me than I should trust me enough as well. I have faith more than faith in God to know that he will not place more on me than I can handle, because he is always right beside me at all times…. I will be honest and tell you that I have asked God when is this enough of load on my shoulders, I cannot bare anymore right now God… My reply has always been Shirley you are not alone I am here with you! Due to the disorder’s that my girls have and the behaviors that can come about from those disorders I have felt very alone and like an outsider in the world. During this year (2011) God has opened doors that I never dreamed of and I have found people who understand the disorders of my girls and I am not made to feel like I am crazy and making things up any more.
My post here will cover a range of things from mental illness, single parenting, my thoughts on different things and God, I do not want to offend anyone, nor do I want to not be “Me” and write what God wants me to write about. So in order for me to write about me and my life, my thoughts they will all involve God. My hope for these post is let even just one person know that you are not alone and that God is always there no matter what is happening….. If you are a parent of a special needs child and you feel alone and shut off from the world I am here, I hear your cry for support, talk to me and God. I may not have the answers but I will do my best to help you find the answers, pray with you if you want and just listen to you and most importantly not judge you. If you are a person who has not been as close to God as you wanted and or you are a person who does not know God and you want to meet him I will talk with you and listen to you as well. I will be more than glad to tell you what I know about God. That he is the most powerful, mighty, able, willing and loving God that I ever want to know… I know that he (God) can help you through anything that you are facing and you wont be scared or alone anymore.
Thanks for stopping by and making it this far in the reading please come back and check this out again soon..
Please watch over, protect and take care of the needs of each person that reads my post here, Lord you know their needs better than anyone, use my post here to do your will.
Thank you Lord Amen